We’ve all been there—overextending ourselves, saying "yes" when we really want to say "no," and doing too much for others, often at our own expense.
If you’ve ever found yourself bending over backwards to make everyone else happy (while forgetting about your own needs), you might be caught in the exhausting cycle of people-pleasing.
People-pleasing can sneak up on us. Childhood conditioning and self internalisation can be hard to recognise, especially when we’re afraid of disappointing others or feel responsible for their happiness. The good news is that breaking free doesn’t have to be a heavy or overwhelming process. In fact, it can be light, fun, and even playful!
In this blog, I’m going to share “five creative, easy to remember ways” to catch yourself in the act of people-pleasing. These easy-to-remember tips will help you set healthy boundaries while keeping things light and playful. So, let’s tap into our inner child and get started!
1. Bubble Boundaries: Float in Your Own Space
Imagine you have your very own ‘magic bubble’ that surrounds you. This bubble keeps you safe and comfy, but it’s also your boundary protector. Whenever someone asks for too much or you feel that familiar pressure to please, picture your bubble growing bigger and stronger. You get to decide what gets close and what stays out.
Try this:
When you feel overwhelmed by someone’s request, take a moment to imagine inflating your bubble. Does their request need to come inside your space? Or can it stay outside your bubble? By visualizing this playful boundary, you’ll have an easier time protecting your energy.
Why it works:
Setting boundaries can feel tricky, but using a playful image like a bubble makes it fun! It gives you a quick and simple way to remind yourself that your space is important too.
2. The Yes-ometer: Check Your Heart Gauge
Ever feel like you automatically say "yes" to things you don’t actually want to do? That’s where your *Yes-ometer* comes in! Think of it like a gauge in your heart that measures how much you really want to agree to something. Before you respond, take a peek at your Yes-ometer. Is it only halfway full? Or even less? If your Yes-ometer isn’t buzzing with excitement, it might be time to say "no" or "maybe later."
Try this:
Next time someone asks for a favour, pause and imagine your Yes-ometer. If it’s not at least 50% full, give yourself permission to hold back or politely decline.
Why it works:
Checking in with yourself before answering teaches you to honour your own feelings and energy. Plus, imagining a colorful gauge makes it fun and easy to remember!
3. The Puppet Pause: Who’s Pulling Your Strings?
When we’re stuck in people-pleasing mode, it can feel like someone else is pulling the strings. But guess what?
*You* get to be in control! Picture yourself as a puppet who freezes whenever you’re asked to do something. You don’t move or respond until you check in with yourself and ask, "Am I doing this because I want to, or because I feel like I have to?"
Try this:
The next time someone requests your time or energy, imagine yourself freezing like a puppet on strings. Take a breath, and only “move” when you’re sure it’s something you truly want to do.
Why it works:
This playful image helps break the automatic urge to say "yes" immediately. It gives you time to reflect before jumping into action, ensuring you’re moving for *you*, not for someone else’s expectations.
4. My Magic Word: A Secret Spell for Saying No
Remember when we were kids and had secret passwords or magic words? Let’s bring that fun back! Choose your own magic word (something silly like "bananas" or "jellybeans") that helps remind you when you’re slipping into people-pleasing mode. When you notice yourself saying "yes" just to make someone else happy, think or whisper your magic word. This word is like a spell that breaks the people-pleasing habit and reminds you to pause.
Try this:
Choose a word that makes you smile and use it every time you’re about to agree to something you’re not comfortable with. Your magic word gives you the power to stop and check in with yourself.
Why it works:
A magic word makes it playful and light-hearted. It gives you a fun, personal reminder to catch yourself before overcommitting.
5. Superhero Power Pose: Strike a Pose Before You Say Yes!
Characterisation is my favourite, creating a hero or embodying an inspiring friend, is easy.
You’re the hero of your own story! Before agreeing to do something for someone else, strike a pose. Stand tall, hands on your hips, chest out, and ask yourself, "Do I really need to be the one to save the day here? Or can someone else handle this?" Your superhero power isn’t in saying "yes" to everything—it’s in knowing when to act and when to let others take responsibility.
Try this:
Before you respond to someone’s request, literally strike a superhero pose! Stand strong, take a breath, and see if this is a mission you truly want to take on.
Why it works:
The power pose boosts your confidence and reminds you that you don’t have to take on every request or problem. It empowers you to say "no" when needed, while still feeling like the hero of your own story.
Final Thoughts: Play Your Way to Healthier Boundaries
Breaking free from people-pleasing doesn’t have to be serious or hard work. By incorporating these playful, childlike strategies, you can start catching those behaviours in a fun, lighthearted way. The key is to bring awareness to your habits without harsh self-judgment—because you deserve to protect your energy and honour your needs, just like anyone else.
So, go ahead—inflate your bubble, check your Yes-ometer, strike that superhero pose, and remember that you’re in control of how you show up for others. And next time someone asks for more than you’re able to give, let your playful side remind you: it’s okay to say "no" and still be the hero of your own story.
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